We need support and someone to help us deal with our painful and tender feelings when depressed.
When talking about depression, a lot of people forget that depression is an illness that requires proper attention and treatment. If you’re depressed, it can be incredibly frustrating to hear things like “just get over it,” “you’re being really dramatic”, “you have to be strong”, Learn to deal with it, “Happiness is a choice”. You might begin to wonder if you’re not strong enough or question yourself as to what is wrong with me that I have these dark feelings? As hard as we try, we feel we can identify with the dilemma of Sisyphus who tried ceaselessly to roll a rock up to the top of the hill, only to have it fall back down of its own accord. Our efforts, even our best efforts fall short of helping us “stop” the feelings.
Here are some of the reasons why:
1. Depression is an illness – If you were in an accident and dealing with broken bones, no one would tell you to “get over your pain.” Yet, somehow we have a harder time dealing with the emotions and feelings of depression. We expect that we should be getting beyond it or managing it better or that we shouldn’t feel the way we do.
2. The brain is in control – Studies have shown that people experiencing depression have symptoms controlled by an unconscious emotional process that is usually beyond their control. Remember that depression is an incredibly complex disease caused by a combination of biological, psychological and sociological factors.
3. The symptoms can make life unmanageable – Major depression is characterized by at least five of the diagnostic symptoms below:
- Overwhelming feelings of sadness
- Loss of interest and pleasure in most activities.
- Decrease or increase in appetite
- Insomnia or hypersomnia
- Psycho motor agitation or retardation
- Constant fatigue,
- Feelings of worthlessness or excessive and inappropriate guilt,
- Recurrent thoughts of death and suicidal ideas
- Cognitive difficulties such as: diminished ability to think, concentrate or make decisions
- Symptoms persist for two weeks or longer and interfere with life functioning,
- Person might start missing work or school, or stop their usual social activities.
4. You can’t hope and wish it away – Nobody likes being depressed. Just because you want to feel better doesn’t mean you can wave a magic wand and your symptoms will magically disappear. You can desire to feel better, but until you work with a therapist, and uncover the underlying causes and reasons for the depression, it probably isn’t going to get any better.
5. People experience depression in different ways and exhibit different symptoms – In men, it often manifests as tiredness, irritability and anger. Men are less likely to recognize they are depressed and seek help. In women, depression tends to manifest as sadness, worthlessness and guilt. Depressed teenagers tend to be irritable, moody, and get into trouble in school, have problems with eating disorders or substance abuse.
6. Medication combined with therapy is the standard of care– Depression is real and painful. There are many medications that a psychiatrist can prescribe along with psychotherapy. Treatment can make all the difference in getting your life back on track.
If you struggle with intrusive thoughts and dark feelings that do not feel like your usual self, chances are that you may be suffering from depression. Many of my clients find hope and relief to know that their struggles have many options available to them for hope and healing. Often its helpful to sort out the environmental, biological, cognitive and emotional factors that have led to being depressed. I would be happy to be available for support and care through what can be a very dark time. If you are hoping to find relief, understanding and feel like yourself again, I invite you to call me. Life can be better for you.
